That's So Witch House

/// ▲▲▲ \\\ In recent years, companies have been attempting to commercialize the lifestyle of our nation’s underground witches. Businesses such as Golden Triangle Construction, construct witch-lifestyle products and then sell them in high qualities at lamestream stores such as El Target and El Walmart. Owning a triangle used to be an authentic way of showing that you belonged in the witch-club, that you were actually spooky and would sacrifice a baby lamb in a heartbeat. Now every middle school kid and his grandchild is bringing triangles to the local Kindergarten show and tell. Why do middle schoolers have grandchildren these days and why are they hanging around the local kindergarten class? I don’t know, kids these days are CRAZY! Am I right other adults?! /// ▲▲▲ \\\

/// ▲▲▲ \\\ Delta Delta Delta is the official Sorority Witch House. All members sport the “sacred tri-line signs” on their clothing and mark the triangles on the outside of their witch houses. Dance parties at Delta Delta Delta are very spooky and almost always involve some form of blood sacrifice of a frat bro. /// ▲▲▲ \\\

/// ▲▲▲ \\\ Many witches are head-quartered in Alaska, sacrificing many animals and Josh Hartnetts during the period known as thirty nights of night. As a side note, does anyone know if the Josh Hartnett population is now extinct? It used to be thriving but we’re pretty sure witches/Sarah Palin/Japanese soldiers killed them all off. /// ▲▲▲ \\\

/// ▲▲▲ \\\ This is a cautionary sign that witches are about. If you don’t recognize the sign and you see it in the woods, you’re already sacrificed. /// ▲▲▲ \\\

/// ▲▲▲ \\\ All sea-life shown in this map were quickly sacrificed after the photo was taken. You may think this not an actual photograph, but that’s just a tell-tale sign that your a muggle. /// ▲▲▲ \\\

/// ▲▲▲ \\\ A reliable fire is needed to make the perfect sacrifice to the godz. /// ▲▲▲ \\\